Something I’m wanting to add as I finish up the Kills Analysis / Kill Comparison to these franchises is my own personal ranking. I’m going to play a bit of catchup as I currently have 3 franchises either complete or getting close to it but it’s certainly something I’m wanting to do. That said, lets get started.
The Halloween franchise as a whole is one of the biggest in horror (I know Amityville Horror technically beats it out, but I’d have to do some research to find another franchise with over 13 titles) It’s got some winners and it’s got some real losers. Will my ranking of this franchise line up with yours? Let’s find out.
13. Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
The first few are probably no surprise to anyone. Resurrection is a hot mess. From the opening scene to them killing of Laurie Strode rather unceremoniously for no real reason to the end scene where Busta Rhymes fights Michael with kung fu and an some electricity to the crotch. Just a hot mess. Now I actually did like the streamer premise although I think they really failed to capitalize on it and the kill where the dude gets lanced with the tripod. I also enjoyed just how off the wall Busta Rhymes is here, like he knows exactly what kind of shit-storm movie he’s in so he really makes the best of it. Like no, Michael, I’m playing Michael Myers in this show, you’re going to ruin everything! I’m surprised a decent director like Rick Rosenthal (Director of Halloween II further down on the list) couldn’t do anything to help this. It’s fairly safe to say that this is universally panned by about every horror critic and fan.
12. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)
This is another movie that I could add to the “be happy to never watch again” pile. First, they recast Danielle Harris due to money disputes if I remember right, then they kill the character in the opening scene after she gives birth to Michael’s rape baby? Like this is the very beginning of the movie, what in the hell is going on here? It doesn’t get any better either as we have Paul Rudd giving his debut performance as the most off the wall Tommy Doyle you can imagine. I take it back, Paul Rudd is about the most entertaining part of this movie as you can watch a blooming actor make some very questionable decisions and then laugh about it. The plot goes all over the place as we explore the cult of thorn that the last sequel hints to, as well as the reveal of the man in black. Honestly, this movie would have probably done itself a service to have just retconned that mess and left 5 as being a solo catastrophe instead of not only making another film about it, but a worse one. We do get Barry Simms, which is another character that is raunchy yet entertaining to me in the trashiest of ways, so I’ll give this movie credit for giving me about 5 minutes of enjoyment, but the rest of this is nearly unwatchable. For years I thought it was just because the creative force behind this movie was pushing one way and then the other so we got an incohesive mess, and then I watched the producers cut hoping it would help matters. Some people like that one better, but I thought it was even more batshit crazy than the theatrical cut. There’s a lot of days that I rank this one lower than Resurrection and I was really thinking of doing it here as well. They are about even for me.
11. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)
We’re still in the ‘mess’ movies for this franchise, and this one isn’t much different but it is a little bit better. This movie opens with a mountain man rescuing Michael and nurturing him to death…only for Michael to repay him by killing him? Then we get the best characters in the early films of the franchise completely neutered. We have Rachel, who’s killed off early in the film who was probably the best final girl in the franchise spite most opinions of Laurie Strode, then we get Jaimie who’s now a mute. Now of course Danielle Harris pulls this off beautifully because she’s the damned best and while it’s comical watching her mute scream, it’s frustrating to watch the star of your movie have no dialogue. Unless I’m watching a Helen Keller biopic, I’m not moved by your character. Then we get cops that are accompanied by clown music. If you’re doing this in your comedy, great, but this is a Halloween movie. The rest of this film is unremarkable at best. It’s just a slog. This is the last movie in the franchise that I’ll say are pretty much unwatchable for me, the rest I don’t mind rewatching from time to time.
10. Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
I’m sure I’ll get some hate for this one, but H20 just isn’t my kind of movie. I’m a huge Scream fan (hey, it’s in the name!) but the movies it inspired just don’t do it for me. I’ll get the same amount of hate when I tell people I wasn’t very big on Bride of Chucky too, I’m sure. This movie really has a lot going for it and I certainly don’t fault people for having high opinions of this movie, it’s just the vibe and the shooting style that really do this movie in for me. Again, those teen slashers are my least favorite in the slasher subgenre, and that’s coming from someone who loves a good slasher flick. All that said, this movie is to credit for putting the franchise back on track after the mess that is the Thorn trilogy, which is another good reason why people hate Resurrection so much, as it spirals the franchise right back into a mess. I still don’t dislike this movie, like I said, it’s just not for me. It’s OK, I’ll watch it again I’m sure. The rest of the movies on this list I get pretty excited whenever it’s time for another view though, so time to get to a little less negativity.
9. Halloween II (2009)
I know the Rob Zombie movies get a lot of hate. His movies in general get plenty of hate, but I don’t hate these movies. In terms of Halloween movies, I think they are just OK, but I don’t have any real gripes with them. The sequel here has a few things that does peeve me just a little bit, such as the white pony stuff as an inexcusable reason to put his wife into the movie. Honestly, Rob, it’s OK if she misses one of your films. She’s done good work for you, no need to throw here in every project you’re on. Maybe try a flashback or something next time. Lastly, what the hell was the cold open on this one? Was it a dream? A flashback? I’m fairly sure it’s a flashback but I almost wish it had actually happened. Other than these few things, I actually really enjoyed this movie. Brad Dourif and Danielle Harris are phenomenal, yet again. Getting to watch this universes Sam Loomis die in such a brutal manner is absolutely how you want to kill the character that you’ve spent almost 4 hours making us hate. The kills in general in this movie are some of the best. Like when Michael goes American History X on that Howard dudes face? Brilliant. Where Rob Zombie loses a lot of audience as a whole is his “hellbilly” dialogue and in all of his movies this one probably has the least. Considering I’m from KY, the white trash nature of his dialogue has never really bothered me but I can see how it can be a bit off-putting. I still consider both of the Rob Zombie movies a reasonable watch for people new to the franchise or the genre.
8. Halloween Ends (2022)
There’s a lot of people who legitimately hate this movie, and plenty who think it’s one of the better entries. I…have a lot of problems with this movie. I don’t hate it, and will absolutely watch it again and it certainly has its plusses. The characters are some of the more interesting in the franchise and I really do like the Corey angle the movie takes but there are so many glaring problems with this movie that I have such a hard time looking over. For example, Laurie. She spent 40 years building bunkers, training in personal defense and estranging herself from her family over her obsession with Michael. Michael kills her daughter and now she’s ready to move on? Also, we see Corey and Michael go out killing like its some father and son bonding, which again, I thought was an interesting direction. The next day Corey goes into the sewers, bitch slaps Michael and steals his mask? We’re supposed to be OK with that? Ok, we’ve moved on from Corey stealing the mask because he’s making one hell of a killer just massacring Darcy the mail girl and that DJ and all of those band camp bullies. Like I’ve finally accepted that happened and am really behind Corey being the new boogeyman. What I’m hoping for at the end of this movie is Michael coming back around, Laurie killing Michael, Corey killing Laurie and now we have a new boogeyman / final girl in Allyson and we can move on with the franchise. What happens? Corey becomes this whiney little child because granny doesn’t like him and stabs himself? WHAT? Then we finally do get a final confrontation between Laurie and Michael and while it’s decent, I could say the same thing as I could say about the whole 3rd act of this film. It’s rushed and incredibly disappointing to what we, the fans, were expecting. My apologies, rant over, ranking resumes.
7. Halloween Kills (2021)
This is another entry that gets a bit of division between fans but I really enjoyed this one. It gets a little hokey at the climax with Michael basically evolving into Superman and massacring a lynch mob but I’m willing to write that off for the same reason we enjoy a lot of 80’s slashers today. We’re in an age where realism in slashers is king but I’m perfectly content with a bit of that supernatural in my slasher killer. This is also a movie much like the original part 2 where Laurie is in the hospital the whole film which is a bit of a drag. The side characters in this film are delightful and some of the callbacks to the original are fun to go through. I think this film gets most of its criticisms to the fact that it’s a hokey slasher film in an age where that’s not done anymore but being a fan of old slashers, this was really my kind of movie.
6. Halloween II (1981)
I honestly want to put this film lower on the list, and most Halloween fans would probably rank it much higher. Like I mentioned with Kills, it just feels like Jaimie is disabled through half of the movie. This one is probably more suspenseful than most of the Halloween movies and they really ramp up the gore from the original (looking at the sequel rules in Scream 2, they really knock this one out of the park). I guess the motto is bigger and bloodier. This movie is just ok for me. Sorry folks, I just struggle to hype it.
5. Halloween (2007)
I actually like this movie way more than I probably should. Yeah, it’s Rob Zombie and his dialogue is trashy, specifically in the beginning. I know the response is that no one wanted to see Michael as a child and that he’s scarier when he’s more mysterious yada yada, but I really dug the beginning. I enjoy seeing William Forsythe as Ronnie be a douchebag and get his comeuppance (anyone else get the feeling he asked Judith Myers in this universe if he had a rash on his penis at least twice?), same thing with that kid from Spy Kids. The ending I had a bit more problems with as it’s so close to the original, but it’s still a pretty good update. One issue that I’ve found, and it’s a minor gripe, is that Zombie is trying to paint Michael as being a textbook serial killer by having the childhood Michael kill animals, etc, which I think that’s great. The minor jab at people with antisocial personality disorder (most refer to this as psychopathy), however, shows a fundamental lack of knowledge in modern psychology. ASPD is a fairly common disorder and doesn’t have anything to do with someone being violent. It’s just one of those small things that doesn’t age well with this movie as it creates fear in an area that it doesn’t belong. I’m sure as time goes on and more and more studies are made, this movie will age about as well as The Birth of a Nation, like sour milk.
4. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)
I think we’re now to the point where everyone would agree that the movies are “good”. This is the film that they introduce Danielle Harris as Jaimie and Tina, probably the most capable final girls of the series (sorry Jaimie Lee Curtis fans). There’s no way they are gonna get killed off in this franchise, she’s just so wholesome and good, right? Right?! I think this movie has the most believable characters. We get that crazy lynch mob going on, and the fight in the back of the truck where Michael rips out that guys throat whos driving which is probably one of the better looking practical effects for its time. Even the opening where Michael is escaping the hospital is a lot of fun.
3. Halloween (2018)
I think I’ve mentioned it before, while I’m a huge Jaimie Lee Curtis fan, I’m not a huge Laurie Strode fan outside of the original, and this movie kind of exacerbates why. This could possibly be my #1 on this list if it weren’t for how the character is portrayed. This film ignores everything but the original, but turns Laurie Strode from a babysitter meeting a crisis into Ripley / Sarah Conner level of badassdom? The character is tired, honestly. Now if we’d of had a continuation of Part 4 with the return of Danielle Harris as Jaimie, ignoring the events of 5 and 6, now we’re talking. Other than that, I think this was about as good of a requel as it could have been.
2. Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)
Boy oh boy, I get to talk about this gem. I honestly like this film more than any other film in this franchise. Why did I rank it number 2 then? Because this isn’t a Halloween (franchise) film. It’s also the reason I didn’t do a Kills Analysis or include this in Halloween’s Kill Comparison. This movie was hated when it first released and for good reason was reevaluated as a standalone horror movie a few decades later and now most horror fans, even Halloween fans, rate this movie fairly high. This is one of the craziest movies you’ll ever watch and if you’ve never seen it, you’re wasting your time reading articles on the toilet because you need to find a copy and get to it. I look at this movie the same way as I look at the 2019 Child’s Play, excellent film, horrible name. John Carpenter’s original goal was to create an anthology film, part 2 was never to exist this was supposed to be Halloween 2. Of course the producers wanted more Michael so history was written. He finally got to make his anthology though with this one, and it’s also why it’s so hated. Because it’s not a Michael Myers film. If this would have just been titled Season of the Witch, however, it would be a perfect film to be watching during spooky season.
1. Halloween (1978)
The one that started it all, and still my favorite Halloween film. It’s such a simple premise but it’s done so well. The scares are creepy, the sound design and music is amazing (it’s John Carpenter…), the shape is legitimately just a shape in this one. No personality, no motive, just kill. No questions asked. There are very few movies I’ll say this about, but I consider this to be a perfect film. Dude just wants to be in his home town and cut people. It’s that simple.
Thanks for taking the time to read this far if you’ve made it this far. I never imagined it would take this long to write (I’ve spent about 2 weeks off and on adding a little here, a little there). With this being the largest franchise to date that I’ll be covering anytime soon, hopefully it won’t take near as long talking about other franchises in this method. This might also be something I save for the YouTube channel as it’s a lot easier to speak than write when it comes to stuff like this, but I’m mostly waiting on the holidays to be over to be able to invest more time and energy into that beast. I’ve still got a ton of Jason kill analysis’ being churned out, so until next time.